A MEMOIR
MY HUSBAND
RABBIT HOLE
THE
AND ME
WHEN MARRIAGE BECAME A CULT
ABOUT LOUISE WILLIAMSON WRITER
Louise S Williamson is the author of My Husband, the Rabbit Hole and Me.
This book is a must read for those who have been personally affected by conspiracy theories and online disinformation, for those who know someone who has been affected, and for people who have escaped or are looking to escape from an unhealthy relationship. Louise gives an unflinching account of the price her family paid after her ex-husband vanished down the deepest conspiracy rabbit hole. Most importantly, it is a story of hope. Louise, who is originally from the UK, now lives in Wellington, New Zealand.
ABOUT "MY HUSBAND, THE RABBIT HOLE, AND ME"
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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE PERSON SPOUTING CONSPIRACY THERORIES IS CLOSER TO HOME THAN THAT UNCLE EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT?
WHAT IF YOU'RE MARRIED TO HIM?
For decades, Louise thought she knew her husband. They had built a family, a business, and a shared future. Then he vanished down the deepest conspiracy rabbit hole. At first it was 9/11 and false flags. Then came Covid denial, 5G paranoia, and a worldview in which governments were criminals and science was a lie
This is the gripping story of one woman's fight to hold on to her sense of self when her husband chose conspiracy over connection, control over respect, and ideology over love. It is a memoir of shock, betrayal, and survival - but also of clarity, resilience, and the hard-won courage to walk away.
My Husband, the Rabbit Hole, and Me is more than a personal story. It is a warning about the intimate cost of disinformation, and a testament to the strength it takes to reclaim your life when truth itself is under attack.
BUY THE BOOK
My Husband, the Rabbit Hole, and Me is available for purchase on Amazon.com, Amazon UK and Amazon Australia. Alternatively you can pre-order the book below (for distribution in January 2026).
Note: the price above is in New Zealand dollars. NZD $28.99 is equivalent to (approx):
USD $ 17.00
EUR € 14.00
GBP £ 13.00
AUS $ 25.00
MORE ABOUT "MY HUSBAND, THE RABBIT HOLE, AND ME"
This is a story about reality and objective truth. It describes what can happen when two people in a relationship do not share the same version of reality, cannot agree about what is true, and define honesty differently. It is about what happened when one person — me — was married to a conspiracy theorist. One of us lives in a fantasy world. I think it’s him. He thinks it’s me. It is not a workable combination.
Often, we hear about conspiracy theories and disinformation as something that uncle bores everyone with at family gatherings. The reality is often much worse and much closer to home, with profound harm being caused to real people. For example, my ex-husband was convinced that we were being lied to and that the Covid vaccines were part of a sinister plot. He told me that rolling up my sleeve to be vaccinated would be grounds for divorce. He said that if he knew the time and place, he would not let anyone do it to me. He implied that if I were to go along with the agenda of the government and its sycophants, I would be complicit in a crime against humanity. And when I asked for time apart, his first question was whether I was planning to be vaccinated. Later, I was punished for my choice to be vaccinated in a way that was both shocking and unbelievable. My book peels apart the layers of psychological manipulation at play here and lays bare the impact on every member of my immediate family.
I was told that I would need to be vaccinated in secret:
I questioned the need for secrecy. He spelled it out. To this day, I remain shocked at what followed. Shocked that I had missed the warnings that, looking back, were clearly there. He had told me that he would try and prevent us from being vaccinated by pretty much any means and I had shrugged it off. Made light of it. Believed that I had a choice, that I didn’t have to do the same thing as him if I didn’t want to. I was shocked and upset by the patronising put-downs in what [he] said next, revealing an astonishing level of arrogance and a breathtakingly insulting lack of respect. The level of self-belief was truly extraordinary. Later, I was shocked to discover how much my insistence on being able to choose for myself would cost me.
As a first step, [he] attempted to muzzle the sedition, quickly and thoroughly, with an avalanche of words —1,640 of them — intended to put me in my place. Suffocate my voice. Cut me down to size. Make me wonder if he still viewed me as an equal. If he had ever viewed me as an equal, for that matter. I was expected to trust that [he] knew what was best for me and that my own mind, my own powers of reasoning, had been corrupted and were not to be trusted. The really sad part is that he had created enough doubt in my mind to cause endless hours of self-questioning.
Conspiracy theories and disinformation are only part of the story. Differences of opinion and differing worldviews are one thing and are not inherently wrong. Being told that you are irrational, dishonest, deluded, psychotic, greedy, selfish and exhibiting “cultlike robotic behaviour” sits firmly in the territory of dysfunctionality and abuse. I explore how I ended up in a situation I never signed up for, how easy it is to miss the signs and how, looking back, the signs were there from the start. Furthermore, it is impossible to resolve disagreements with a person who refuses to accept responsibility for anything:
And in what had become an all-too-familiar pattern, I discovered that the whole thing was my fault. “You could have easily defused the situation if you’d wanted to,” he bellowed, the sound of his voice echoing around the kitchen like gunfire in a distant valley. “Instead of that you just lied.” What lies? “You’re psychotic, completely delusional,” he added, for good measure, just in case I still thought that he had been the one behaving badly.
Strength, resilience, values, integrity - all of these are lovely words. For me, the path out of it all involved allowing myself to feel hurt, angry, upset, and frightened. The real key to beginning to feel better was forgiving myself:
“You cannot recognise what you do not know.”
This is what a counsellor told me when I was beating myself up for being a bad judge of character.
The reason I have so often been shocked, surprised, and appalled…is that I was projecting my own personality and values onto him…The way [he] behaved was inconceivable to me, and that is a wonderful thing. What a beautiful way to look at the world. Pity it’s not always like that. I want to hold onto my ability to see the best in people and find a way to use it more wisely.